A Meerkat of Strange Angles
Visit Hotdog Thunderdome
I cannot decipher a single word of it. It’s not that she has bad handwriting. Actually, she does. I want to say that it’s just that she writes in cursive, and I’m bad at reading cursive, but… I can usually at least figure it out.
From context clues, I’ve figured out that it is a thank you note, thanking me for sending her a thank you note for the book she got me for Christmas. I’m considering sending her a thank you note for sending me a thank you note for sending her a thank you note for getting me a gift. I want to see how long I could get it to go back and forth. Then I decided against it, because I don’t have any stamps. That, and it was a terrible idea.
It also seems that she started writing on the right side of the card, and, rather than continuing on the back, she resumed her chicken scratch handwriting (which, looking back, is what she has always called my handwriting… the hypocrite!) on the left side of the card, with no arrows or markings of any kind to inform me of which side to read first. Of course, she couldn’t have written over or crossed out the quote on the back of the card:
One nation, under God…
Oh how wonderful His gifts.
(I changed no punctuation or capitalization.)
Now let us see how many of these words I can actually read:
- “thanks”
- Either “loosely” or “lovely”
- “RT”
- “yous herp”
- “STtrTud”
- “endless!”
- “2ve”
- “s??lh”
- “SNow & IeE”
- “lousy” or “lovesly”
- “benign” or “bright”
- “SNAUSHoeing” (snowshoeing?)
- “welts”
- “reading”
- “Tiger” or “Ticker”
- “ascam”
- “fo”
- “arr”
- and the last words before her signature: “The ears”
You say that as if you know that I don’t already have superpowers. Your assumptions make an ass out of you and Mption.
I actually already have superpowers. A ton of them. They’re very subtle and pretty uncommon, though. You’ve probably never heard of them.
I have reverse synesthesia.
I can give anyone I want Elephantitis. But only in half of their body.
I have Adamantium blood. It doesn’t help fighting at all. And it makes me pretty slow. Plus, it’s pretty much poison…
Me an Lou Ferrigno grow each other’s fingernails.
I can set ablaze anything that’s already on fire.
I have X-ray vision. If there’s an X-ray in the room I can… see it…
I sweat Orange Juice. But only on Tuesdays.
Instead of white blood cells, my body produces Cough Syrup.
When Ten and Eleven met:
Eleven: Whoops. Didn’t mean for that to happen… Again. This is not good. Very not good.
Ten: Where am I? Is this— Noooooo. It can’t be! Can it?
Eleven: Oh, hello. Our TARDISes seem to have… Well, you know.
Ten: No, I most certainly do not. Who are you?
Eleven: Who do you think I am?
Ten: No no no no no no no. You? Really??
Eleven: Oh, thanks. It’s nice to know what I really think of me.
Ten: I didn’t mean it like that. But, you are wearing a bow tie.
Eleven: Bow ties are cool.
Ten: …
Eleven: Well, you did already fix this once, so it shouldn’t be a problem.
Ten: What? No I haven’t.
Eleven: Sorry, I should have asked where you are… Timelines and whatnot.
Ten: I just said goodbye to Rose at Bad Wolf Bay.
Eleven: Which time?
Ten: What do you mean which time?
Eleven: Spoilers…
After a few minutes of tinkering between the two of them, the problem is near being fixed.
Eleven: And with that! You’re on your way back.
Ten: This has been… interesting.
Eleven: To say the least.
Ten: How long until I become you?
Eleven: Spoilers… I’m the next one.
Ten: I’m looking forward to being you. Well… When I say looking forward to—
He’s gone.
My first bit of Fanfic. I know it’s not fantastic, but oh well.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
The cabbie looks up and out of the car window. “Sorry buddy, I’m off duty,” he says annoyed. He’s slouching in the driver’s seat, seemingly trying to sleep.
“Thousand bucks says you aren’t.”
I just wrote the first 625 words of a… short story?
It’s something.
Do you guys want to read it?
Probably not.
And I’ll probably post it anyway.
